Give me a long long break

To be honest, preggy symptoms this time around is the worst ever. Maybe not as bad as other people but it is enough to get me on my nerves. My abdomen feels uncomfortable , i feel like i wanna vomit all the time but i cant. I wanna  burp all the time and it makes me sick. I am hungry, but the thought of eating will make me nauseous and will make me feel bloated i will feel awful again.

My asthma came earlier this time. I feel lethargic and exhausted as if i have hiked a mountain. 

This is all the test that Allah put me through. In fact i should be grateful its not life threatening to me or my baby. 

I feel lifeless, meaningless, all this depressing thoughts invading my mind. It hurts.

I need a break. A long break. All that happened is overwhelming for me. I cannot take it anymore. Of course i can push myself but what good does it do to me? I will hurt myself, my kids , my hubby. I have had enough.

Yesterday we went to visit Mokwan. Feeling nauseous i dont eat much. But seeing buah asam is so tempting. So i ate like the whole fruit. Although i KNOW that the consequences will be devastating(uncomfortable stomach,nauseated,bloated,gaseous)

I cry more nowadays. I told my husband that i cant bear this anymore. I just need a break.. 😢

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